Ladies and gents this one is for you all. As I mentioned to so many friends this year that I decided I was going to get real, raw and vulnerable with you all. Life is about taking risks after all isn't it.

The dreaded 'V' word has haunted us all, but if I don't get real and raw and vulnerable, then who will read my posts? That isn't really what matters to me as an avid blogger, but I figured it helps me grow as a person and if just one person is able to relate to my posts, then I have done by job but offering up my own vulnerabilty.

Hey maybe just some day the person reading this will change their mind and not disappear like Casper the friendly ghost, when considering a date with their possible future spouse.

Wondering what in the world I am talking about, well then you came to the right blog today. Ghosting has become the norm and I continually ask myself why, but I have yet to find an answer, other than what my girlfriends and I have come up with. What is ghosting you ask? 

According to online google searches,  ghosting can be described as the following' " The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication." In my case recently, all of this ghosting didn't even start in a relationship, so truly the lack thereof. Urban Dictionary does an even better job at describing what ghosting means by denoting, "The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject of dating, but no longer wishes to date."  Now my most recent experience is all too real and ghostly.

A perfect example of this ghosting phenomenon happen to me back in January of this year. Here goes my privacy and vulnerability out the window.  I decided I was going to take a gamble and add yet another portfolio of dating sites to my apps on my phone, and here enters the beloved Tinder. (Please note I am not at all promoting this or any dating website, just merely sharing my sad story with the world). My initial thought was isn't tinder a hookup site? Well, here went nothing, literally after putting my tinder profile up, which has since been deleted for lack of annoyance and nonsense. 

My profile was complete and I started swiping left each night as I perused the online personals of men who put their best head shot up and sales advertisement of why I should either swipe 'LEFT', to say goodbye or 'RIGHT', to potentially find a match made in heaven, or is it hell?

So, as I swiped onwards on Tinder I would come to a few matches, match after match I would remain hopeful for messages to pop up and they almost never did. On occasion I would get one brave man that would write me a few words, and then they would be gone.  A few sentences and comments and then poof, ghostly, ghoulish and gone forever. I started to wonder, what in the world is going on that these men are not messaging me? Well, come to find out, this is all too common with dating apps. Many men and women swipe right which makes the match on many sites and match with the opposite sex and then nobody ever communicates and the matches go to a match made in hell, in other words, a line of matches with nothing to show in your inbox. Sad isn't even the word to describe these dating sites, that all claim to be vastly different from each other, yet they are all very alike in so many ways.

Well, here goes my story. I matched with a guy, let's keep him Anonymous, we can name him 'Spencer.'

Well, Mr. Spencer and I connected and immediately began messaging each other in the app for a few days. He wasted no time and within a day or two, asked me for my number. We then planned an evening to facetime (with the infamous iphone). The facetime 'date' turned into a two hour live chat. A day or two later, the same lovely conversation ensued, but this time for three hours.

After this, we realized we may have a connection, so he asked me out on a date, mind you this is all in the span of the same week. We went on a date on Friday of that week (back in January) and it was really quite amazing, or so I had thought. We discussed life, our goals and just enjoyed each others company. I will spare you the details, other than the fact, he continously made empty promises of how his family will love me and he cannot wait for me to meet them.

Epic failure on a man's part, so gentlemen take note, and stop spewing words and shit out to women when you don't really realize that women take things to heart, more than most of you. Either way I took the comments and kind thoughts with a grain of salt, as this had happened before.  However, I am truly not jaded, despite about what this post may sound like. 

I was hoping this date and connection was different. We ended up spending the next few days together and even spoke on the phone for another two hours the Monday before he disappeared. Keep in mind I would wake up and receive morning text messages from 'Spencer, and then the last two days, Monday and Tuesday, my women instincts made me think something wasn't right and all this was really, truly and deeply too good to be true. Tuesday rolls around and no text messages, not even a hello. Wednesday rolls around and it happened to be 'Spencer's' birthday, so I sent an early, 'Happy Birthday,' text. A few hours later, the end result, " I have to leave town and fly up north for work and work through lunch, sorry I have to cancel our plans tonight,' which so happened to be his birthday. I guess turning 41 can be a scary milestone and, so can a female offering to take you out to a nice dinner on your birthday.

In a nut shell and a weeklong romance, or lack thereof, was the last I heard from 'Spencer'. Truly, ghostly and ghosted. No reason, on explanation, just gone like that. Ladies, take it from me don't waste your time trying to figure out what went wrong, just move on. He isn't worth your time.  Later come to find out, he changed a bit on his profile, after I kept telling him he shouldn't be worried about his height, so I knew the leaving town bit was a complete and utter lie. Sure enough, I guess this ghost did me a favor as I don't do liars. Why he couldn't just be honest I will never know. I guess it is easier to let someone down by disappearing than spewing out the truth right?

I can tell you I have had successful relationships by meeting men online, but ghosting is now at an all time high.

Here is another perfect example. I connected with a guy on another site the other day. Now, granted I was being a bit of a hard ass, and giving him a hard time, as he connected with me weeks ago, exchanged phone numbers with me and then never responded to my text, so I figured he was gone and ghostly. Then earlier this week I get a random text and asked who he was. He sends me a photo and I realized who the face is with the name. I entertained his excuses of life and work getting in the way and ended up convincing him to call me on facetime. Funniest part is he had never used facetime and had to figure it out. This alone should have been a sign, writen with the words, 'dumb', all over it.

Now, you may consider this harsh, but my girlfriend warned me when he told me he had never used facetime.  When I called him out on it, he told me he wasn't so technologically inclined and as soon as that happened my facetime phone call was ringing. We went onto having a video chat for about twenty minutes, where he proceeded to compliment me and then ask me if I wanted to go on a date this past weekend. I let him know I was open to it and let him know to let me know the plan. 

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This brings me to the art of ghosting. My instincts and gut are almost always right and I had a feeling this guy was going to completely and utterly ghost me and not even communicate that there really was no date happening. That is exactly what happened as I did not get one text or phone call from the time we chatted until the proposed date evening. We as humans surely have evolved and everyone's access to social media, texting and lack of communication has caused for this sad phenoma to continue to happen. It truly is difficult to take any of these dating sites or even meeting in person too seriously. We have certainly lost touch with the greater good of people just wanting to find their significant other. I sure hope ghosting goes away sometime soon and we can get back to reality. Unfortunately,  I am afraid that the art of getting to know someone is lost in translation of a text and a bright phone screen. 

Now who on earth thinks it is common courtesy to just up and disappear? If this is what dating has come to online or in person, the future generations of single persons, are going to be rudely awakened, sadly and surely. I don't understand, why a human being cannot just grow a pair of balls and let the other person know, stranger or not, that they just don't want to go out with them or are just not interested anymore. Everyone is always afraid of rejection, both males and females, but the art of ghosting and rejection have grown to a higher level with internet dating playing a role. Have we really turned into a bunch of chickens running around a field, trying to find a mate?

Oh, wait, let me answer my own question, no we are all Caspers and no longer friendly and just choose the art of ghosting instead.  If you have been ghosted and would like to share your story I would love to have you as a guest blogger on my site. Maybe we can all learn from this and share our vulnerability with the masses. Maybe then it will reach just one person and help them learn to become a better communicator because we surely have lost all art forms related to it.

 

 

 

Are you one of the many having issues with your hair thinning or falling out? If this is you, then I advise you pull up a chair and sit down so we can talk supplementation of a very important supplement, B12.

B12 is a key component for your health. B12 is an important antioxidant that is vital to help you feel energized and give you strength to get through your day.

Now, if you are a meat loving addict and eat plenty of organic and non-gmo meat, then this article may not be for you, but then again it is good information for anyone, regardless if you are a carnivore or not.

Now, do know that just because I am writing about a supplement it doesn't mean this applies directly to you as everyone has different needs and health requirements.

For those that are vegan and vegetarian it is important to know supplementing with B12 is important. Why do you ask?

B12 is a vital antioxidant and nutrient that our body needs and helps with red blood cell health. When you are deficient in B12 it can cause fatigue, energy loss and even lead to anemia. Homocysteine is an amino acid, levels in the blood can be linked to heart disease through inflammation. Therefore, B12 helps to lower homocysteine levels by improving vascular function. B12 is responsible for giving you energy and removing waste and dead cells from the body. Someone that is a vegetarian of vegan may have low energy levels as a result of low B12 and this can lead to anemia which can than lead to low iron in the body. As a result, energy levels tend to be low. 

B12 is very imporatnt in metabolizing carbohydrates which are used as energy. There may not be direct metabolization of B12 from carbohydrates, but it helps break them down to use it as energy after a meal. Premature hair loss and early greys can be a result of a low amount of B12 in the body. B12 is the vitamin that helps produce new cells in the body and you will most likely find in hair, skni and nail supplements. Lastly, if you are feeling depressed, adding B12 to your diet if you are low can help aid in lessening the feelings of depression.

 

You may be reading the title of this article and wondering, what have I gotten myself into. I thought the same thing when I learned about the definition of a coffee enema during my Nutritional Therapy program last year. I thought no way in the history of coffee making am I going to do anyting of the such when I heard the word enema and became to understand that that really meant.

It wasn't until I realized how toxic my liver was in the last few months and was recommended that I perform this sacred health ritual. When I say sacred I say it with a sense of humor. 

Not everyone, including myself may be keen to the idea of taking a plastic tube, connecting it to an enema bag (commonly seen in hospitals) and filling it with filtered water that has coffee in it and putting that lovely tube in your bum hole. Yes, I just that, as an enema goes into your anus, ever so gracefully to remove toxins from your liver, but don't forget the coconut oil. This procedure, if you will has been around for a very long time, but the average person may not think about cleansing the toxins from their body with a coffee enema. 

That was until I garnered up the guts (literally) and got really really brave.

Coffee enemas are known as the Gerson therapy method. According to the Gerson therapy method, "coffee enemas are the primary method of detoxification of the tissues and blood." Coffee enemas help the liver to eliminate toxic residue from the body.

I googled a few you tube videos, yes surprisingily there are lots of you tubers who have great details on their experience, and play by play on doing coffee enemas, minus the nudity, thanks.I may spare you the actual details, but I surely won't be doing a you tube video on how to do a coffee enema. I will leave that to the people who have already recorded their one hit wonders, and reached over a million viewers. Of course I am not jealous or anything. I mean who ever thought a person would get a million hits on a video about putting coffee up your bum, yes I just said that, coffee up your bum.

The items you will need to perform a coffee enema are the following:

1. Organic coffee

2. Filtered water

3. Enema bag with tube connected

4 Organic Coconut oil

5. A towel 

I am proud to say, my first experience playing doctor on myself, turned out okay and I am still alive and breathing. Not to mention I feel so much lighter, cleaner and detoxified. If you are reading this and thinking your body might have some toxic overload, then feel free to reach out, google the details and do the research just like I did. I did enough research and reading that I knew this was the right approach for what my body was feeling. It surely made all the different and I am so thankful that I learned what a coffee enema is. So, thankful that I can now raise my hand in solidarity and say, thank you to the Gerson methods of coffee enemas and for those coffee loving growers from around the world. 

After all, what would we do without coffee to kick start our day.

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